The Disappearing Crayon

I was coloring with Jacob (3) and Porter (4). Jacob had taken the paper off and broken his purple crayon in 5 pieces.  I turned to help Porter with his picture. When I turned back Jacob's 5 pieces of crayon were gone. I asked Jacob what happened to them. He told me he had shoved them up his nose. I couldn't see any of the pieces so I called the pediatrician. We went right over and the doctor was able to pull out 4 pieces relatively easily.
"All done." the doctor said.
"Oh, no" I replied, "there is one more piece."
"There couldn't possibly be." And so we went home.
A week later his right nostril started running clear and he didn't feel well. A low grade fever set in the next week.
In week 4 he suddenly did a huge sneeze and out popped the missing piece of purple crayon. But it wasn't purple any more- his sinuses had bleached it white.
Anyone for coloring?

Out in the Cold

At 3am I woke up knowing something was wrong. The apartment was cold. I went in to check on the boys. Porter (2) was missing. I found his pajamas on the living room floor as I went rushing to the front door. I found it open (the dead bolt was five feet off the ground). I ran down the steps to find my two year old sitting in the snow with only his diaper on. His eyes were open but he was unresponsive to my questions.

After this happened once more I spoke with the pediatrician who diagnosed Porter as a sleepwalker. He suggested we lock him in his room at night so he couldn't escape anymore.

During his naptime I would lock the door. I went in to get him after an hour and he wasn't in his bed. He wasn't under the bed. He wasn't on the closet floor.  The window was still shut. I went searching through the apartment (again). Then it hit me- the top shelf of the closet. There I found him under a blanket. I don't know how he didn't roll off and fall to the floor. After that we had to get a lock for the closet.

This is Heaven?

My Dad (Poppy) passed away when Jacob was 3. I was getting the kids ready for the viewing and explained to them that Poppy's soul was in heaven but that we were going to say "goodbye" to his body.  As we got out of the van at the mortuary my little guy put his hand on his hip, pointed at the building and said in disgust, "THIS is heaven?".  He certainly made us laugh.

The Pitter Patter of Little Feet

Thanks to all of you that emailed me memories of my kids- keep them coming. The list is growing with memories I had forgotton or subconsciencely blocked out.

Please realize as you read these blogs that Adam, my huband, was gone for most of these experiences. He was in grad school leaving before the kids got up and coming home after they went to bed. He worked on Saturdays and Sundays he just wanted them to be quiet. Yea, right.

THE STORIES BEGIN----
I was in the kitchen getting lunch ready when I heard the little pitter patter of feet nothing new except it was on the ROOF!  I ran out the back door, off the back porch and turned to face the house. There I saw three year old Jacob running back and forth on the roof.

I placed a 9-1-1 call for the fire department to help get my child off the roof. The firemen showed up and asked why I just didn't climb up the ladder Jacob used. My response, "Do you see a ladder? We don't own a ladder." They were all shocked. After they got him down they asked him how he got up there. He showed them how he had used his fingers and toes to climb the brick. We never did figure out how he got over the edge and up on the roof.  Too scary to contemplate.

Never a dull house at the Thomas.

Why I'm Blogging About My Hyper Kids Misadventures

At the urging of friends, family, and even strangers I am starting this blog to recount the stories of my kids (mainly my two hyper boys) misadventures. Some may be hard to believe but I assure you they're true and I survived them all.

I realized the misadventures of Porter and Jacob had taken on legendary proportions when we attended the funeral last year of a friend (Rich Lloyd) we hadn't seen in 10 years. His wife (Marianne) introduced us to their boys in this way, "Remember the crazy boys Dad told you about and what can happen if you don't calm down?" Her boys eyes got huge and nodded. "These are their parents!"

These stories are meant to do any of the following:

• Make you chuckle
• Realize that you had it easy with your kids
• Cheer you on that you too will survive your kids misadventures/ hyperactivity/craziness
• Learn from my coping skills that took me years to figure out
• Enjoy "this" time of your childrens life.
• but my main goal it to let everyone out there know- IT GETS BETTER

"It gets better" was the advise a lady gave me in the mall. There I was- boys in the double stroller and my daughter (Riley- 4 months) being carried in the front back. Porter (2) and Jacob (1) were throwing tantrums and hitting each other, Riley was crying and I was near tears myself. The lady- probably in her forties at the time, came up to the kids and offered them a piece of candy that calmed them down. She put her arm around my shoulder, hugged me and said, I promise you it bets better." Suddenly I could breathe again, life would go on. (Other lesson learned- don't try to take the kids to the mall)

Now I am that woman in her forties and it is better.